Dec 28, 2009

A Decade, 1999 - 2009

Its been ten years since I've moved back home to Kuala Lumpur.


Its been surreal. A total blur at times. COnsidering before that I have never stayed at one place longer than 2.5 years.


Graduated from high school in Lima, Peru and came 'back' in 1999. 10 years....*takes a deep breath*


When i was 18, my story was...I spent my whole life overseas


Now i'm 28, my story is...i've been back for 10 years....


And when I'm 36.....I've spent 1/2 or my life overseas.


And God willing when i'm 54...i've spent most of my life in KL (assuming i don't move again)




The whole age thing has really gotten to me. I had to force myself to sit down and honestly ask why...and i realized. I feel i have not accomplished anything that I am proud of. I have been involved with amazing projects, but i feel inadequate at times when it comes to my accomplishment.


Someone close to me said, i feel this way cause i keep comparing my carrer with other people my age ...and they are way up there. He posed a different perspective.


I may not have the office or the PA or the huge salary...but I have passion for family, for my creativity. **I let this digest for a few days** My response


He has a point.....but...... or
He has a point.


I have accomplished and experienced so much however i know there is alot more in me. Im like the mercedes benz driving around in singapore....it can go super fast....but the merc can only explore 1/3 of its speed potential cause there is a speed limit. So its such a waste....its not allowed to fully go at high speed which is what the car is more than capable of doing.

(at this point some of you are reacting huh...? You comparing your self to a mercedes.?!?! )


I don't know if my analogy is good or not...I need a space where i can vroom vrooom vroommmmmmm and ride off at high speeds. Like P.Coelho said...


Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks.
Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned;
perhaps she won't suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow.
But when the person looks back-she will hear her heart”


Here is to a decade!! Celebrate, learn, move on. New moment.


K.L.,......K.L.....10 years....at times you have been great to me...at times you are just an ass. Regardless of the stress you have given me....I still love you (as long as you feed me great food...and you just tone it down with your traffic jams and road rage)


I started this blog...with the pure intention to write and share. I have gotten feedback which has motivated me to keep on writing. Which has led to 3 blogs and 2 twitter account and God knows how many email accounts..(Gotta love the internet!!!) I fell in love with writing/sharing/rambling/etcetcetc...Feel free to leave a comment or drop me an email :D



Happy Holidays & Happy new year....much love, adventure and a whole lot of great food
Welcome 2010...what will i make of you?!

Dec 23, 2009

Beauty...

From my previous blog entry, F an anonymous guest left a comment and asked me on my take on beauty.

"What's your take on beauty runs skin deep? I have encountered more often than not that beauty is essential even when u are looking for job. Do you think appearances and looks go a long way in life?"

Hmmm....

Well i can only talk about what I have experienced.

If I had a pretty face (pan asian chinese seem to sell well here, or if you have caucasian features) ....yeah I would milk it as much as it can......sell it till it can't be sold no more. Use it to my advantage....

However that's not me.....Beauty to me is more than what I see. I remember in high school there was this good looking guy....but his personality was ugly as butt....he was aloof, self centered and a bit too up himself...... his personality made him ugly.

I have met people which would be considered pleasent to look at but are just so amazingly beautiful......he had this presence about him...so much charisma..that he could read the dictionary and i would think it was charming!

I've been in the presence of beautiful (they just looked good)...but have the most blah, personality. total ZZZZZZzzzzzz

I don't think beauty is essential say if i were looking for a job (unless i was looking for a job to be on tv or to be an air stewardess).

If beauty get someone far in life...then good for them, if companies are biased and judge potential employees based on looks........boo to them. Yeah, it does happen...but bitching about them can only get me so far. Looks can get you far in life....if used to manipulate to get what you want...do I agree with this.....not at all..but it does happen.

I am a firm believer, presence, charisma, brains is beauty.. and can get you ahead further in life.

So anonymous F.....these are my views......

Dec 18, 2009

Think outside of the box, use your right brain...and feel free to ask questions


Today, during a talk/discussion/ Q&A session there was a guest speaker....Fahmi, he said something which really hit a nerve (in which in my mind i reacted 'Damn straight, hallelujah', but in real life i just smiled and nodded)..

He said something whithin their context...Encourage intellectual freedom in schools.

This statement made me think of my experiences...

I grew up with the privilege of going to private international schools my whole life. Hence the reason why my mother tongue is English and my malay makes me sound like a minah rempit. ( though i take pride that i can speak bahaso nogori)


I'm not saying public school here in Malaysia sucks....the over all attitude and teachings are so left brained so mechanical.

I graduated from a private high school (american system)..and the one thing i remember learning was to think to analyze to dissect and to think outside the box....to come up with my own theories...i remember my thesis when we were reading Othello...my argument that the downfall of Othello was a character flaw and not because of destiny....and i was one of those that preferred theatre and art classes.....so art class was always do what you want..i did art critiques, went to galleries analyzed art, artists, art movements....what a joy!


I can back to Malaysia......got myself into a Local private university....I felt so intellectually stunted. Now i'm not preaching that the education system here sucks....but everything stems from the attitude which is clearly reflected in the education system.

I feed you with information and i control that information. You regurgitate it in you exam. Get good results, and off you go into the world where there is a right answer....give the right answer and you will go far....that is how i see the education system is here

..I remember a lecturer saying to me.. "You students like to do your own thing...I don't get you....you come for consultaion, do what we say and you will pass...."

In my mind i was thinking, "&^%$#$$%#%, then why don't you do the assignment and pass it up and put my name". Working within a set of rules and using our creativity is fine by me...that is were the challenge is- the thinking outside of the box...but this case was..do it like this and you will pass. Do it like that / think for yourself...and you will fail.

It was so grilled into the students heads that you have to consult your work...do it the 'right' way get the green light...then go complete your assignment......

it was so automatic that in painting class my lecturer was perplexed....'Why are you all consulting with me what to paint, there is no right or wrong, just paint what you want, consultation with me is to ask questions like what material do you recommend i use or do you think my composition is good"....It seems the students were so scared to paint what they want...it was such a foreign concept.. I was so entertained by the faces of the dominant left brained classmates......i could see it in their faces and it clearly had the look 'what-do-you-mean-we-can-paint-what-we-want?'

It has stunted my intellectual growth .there was no encouragement to think to talk to be loud say something and be vocal....so i was always called on so say something by my lecturers when they would ask a question and all the students just sat there........in my mind i was thinking 'when no one answers your question call on me to say something give an opinion', but when i have an opinion you hate it' pffftttt to lecturers that had no passion to teach and share knowledge......

..cause i was the one that always had something to say - which made me uber popular - NOT! If anything my out spoken-ness has earned me the label of the one with the mat salleh accent, melor yang takder hidayah (very original compared to melor the telor.....funny yet so mean), that never puas hati about anything.

Looking back...yeah there was something I tak puas hati, so I did something about it, which almost always was 'who do i see to talk about this'. It was too against the grain for alot of people. And I was not afriad to voice my opinion...my opinion at times gave a different perspective - however it wasn't seen that way by a few lecturers and some of my classmates.

We should all be encouraged to speak, to think, and most importantly encourage the freedom to ask questions! Do our local schools encourage this?


Now in no way i am saying that private schools are better...cause i've seen my fair share of private schools in kl which are equivalent to public schools except you just pay more. And i've seen public schools which produce great thinkers....its the overall attitude which gets me so irked. There were quite a few bad apple type lecturers as menioned above...but there were quite a few great apples in the bunch...kudos to those lecturers.

If I had the financial back and freedom to choose, after graduating from my high school in Lima, Peru, I would've gone to art school - and majored in art history (my 2 loves....art and analyzing!) i wouldn't have come back....

**rereading me entry**


I sound so preachy......*thinks to publish or not to publish*......


I'm passionate about this issue and i shall share it......



Dec 8, 2009

Responding to Gut Feelings - article written by Ron Eastwood

Wanted to share this article with you.
RESPONDING TO GUT FEELINGS
written by RON EASTWOOD,
submitted to finerminds.com

I am 68 years of age. A number of years ago I was sort of adicted to personal growth seminars. I give credit to each and every one of the dozen or so that I attended for adding immensely to the richness of my life. However, there is one experience that in my mind outshines fire walking, deep breathing, meditation, sweat lodge and all the rest. I have only shared it with a hand full of my closest friends. I think it may hold meaning for this readership.

The particular seminar was like many others. Two or three hundred people meeting in a large double wide hotel conference room, the kind with an accordion type separator which may be opened to make two large rooms into one even larger room. As typical of this kind of seminar it was hosted by one well known motivational speaker whom in turn invited several other presenters each with a specialty. I do not have permission to use names so out of respect for those whom I discuss we shall leave them nameless.

It was Sunday afternoon/evening the final day of a three-day seminar. Our speaker had just returned from a tour of Africa I believe. It was a long presentation which nearly put me to sleep. I only remember one major theme. That was the wisdom that we often fail to see and experience miraculous events because we go through life with blinders. The speaker stressed that one needs only to stay fully aware of every chance encounter. And to ALWAYS trust that often fleeting sense that something unique has or is taking place moment to moment. Trust your intuitions.

Our host came to the microphone and dismissed us all for one hour for dinner break. He said be in your seats by 7:00 P.M. sharp. Our final speaker will be worth the entire cost of the seminar all by herself. Do not miss a minute.

The Moment My Heart Skipped A Beat

With that I sprinted out the door and ran up to the next corner where there was a Denny's restaurant. It was crowded and it took fifteen minutes for me to place my order. As I waited anxiously I reflected on the previous speaker. I had noted that in my own life there has been an amazing sychronicity between little things I have done and subsequent incredible events flowing from them. For example I was hitch hiking from California to Florida to visit my parents. I was in downtown Atlanta, Georgia. A young boy came running toward me on the sidewalk with both of his tennis shoe laces completely untied. Almost instinctively as a former paramedic and First Aid Instructor I bent over and caught him in one of my outstretched arms to slow him down.

I asked him if he would let me tie his shoe strings so he would not trip on them and fall. He was about six or seven. He let me tie them and as I was standing up from my kneeling position I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard the deep voice of a very large black man saying, "Hey Boy, where you from?" My heart did a flip flop. Here I was in strange surroundings, not another white person in sight and this booming voice from a towering man holding me down with his massive hand. "California," I said hesitatingly.

The Lead-Up To Martin Luther King's Family

He released his grip and as I straightened up into a standing position I was aware of a broad grin coming across his face. He extended his hand for a hand shake as he said, "I knowed ya wasn't from these parts. No self respecting white man in the south would stoop to tie a little Nigger boy's shoe strings." With that I relaxed. He asked me what I do in California. I told him I was a taxi driver. He asked me if I could read a street map. To which I said, "Certainly." He said, "If I give you these car keys would you be able and willing to drive that big black hearse full of sacks of mail over to Dr. King's home and give them to his wife?" [Martin Luther King, Jr. had just been killed three days earlier in Memphis while assisting the local garabage collectors in a strike.] That led to me meeting Coretta Scott King and the three children. I ended up working as a volunteer as the family chauffeur all the rest of that summer.

I was now leaving Denny's and the time was 6:50 p.m. Just enough time to get back to the seminar for the final speaker. I rushed into the parking lot nearly bumbing an elderly woman who was leaning against the side of a big black Cadillac. I just caught a glimpse of her face. She seemed to have tears in her eyes. I continued on to the hole in the chain link fence which would allow me to shave a couple minutes off the time it would take to go clear to the corner. I started through the fence. I had one of those flash feelings. The right thing to do would be to return and see if the woman needed assistance. I remembered the words from the afternoon seminar. Was this one of those moments which may have some significance? Could I close my eyes and mind and get back to the important speaker? It was a no brainer. I did as I usually do in such cases. I returned and spoke to the crying woman.

A Chance Encounter Between Life And Death

We spent perhaps fifteen minutes. She had just taken her three adult children to dinner at Denny's to discuss the terms of her will. It turned into a greedy argument and nasty scene. She had left the three inside arguing. She told me she was going to go home and change her will and then take her gun and kill herself. I gave her a big hug. We held each other a long moment. I felt her relax after a short time. I stepped back and asked her to promise me she would keep in touch and "Please don't kill yourself." We talked some more and she told me she had spent her life as an educator and motivational speaker, but couldn't get through to her own children. I suddenly remember that I was missing the seminar. I crawled through the fence and ran all the way back to the hotel.

Outside the conference room I could hear the speaker. I waited for an applause and tried to quietly open the door during the audience reaction to her presentation. The lights were out with only the spot lights on the podium. I stood quietly in the dark waiting for another audience response to seek a seat. She started to speak and stopped in mid sentence.

Everything Is Connected

"Someone has just entered the room. I have a very strong intuitive feeling we need to know who this is." The moderator stepped to the microphone and asked me to identify myself. "Ron Eastwood," I said, feeling embarassed.

There was great laughter because it seems throughout the conference I had been one of those who jumped up first to volunteer every time volunteers were asked for. I was the one who removed an iron spike from an 8" x 8" timber with my bare hands completely ruining one of his demonstrations (see below)*. Jokingly he said, "We should have known it would be you. Find a seat please."

The speaker said, "No. I want Mr. Eastwood to come up here." I went forward. The moderator stepped aside and said, "Here, you may have my seat." Another round of laughter. I was really feeling humiliated. She did not let me sit down. She said, "Ron you must tell us why you are late. I have a tremendously strong intuitive feeling that this will be important." I briefly told what had delayed me. I mentioned the name of the woman whom I had stopped to comfort. When I finished the speaker was visibly shaken.

More Than Just A Gut Feeling

"Ladies and gentlemen I now know why I had such strong energies when Ron entered the room. My very first mentor after I finished graduate school was (the name of the woman in the Denny's parking lot). I have not seen her in years."

The silence was immense. With the bright spot lights in my eyes I could not see faces, but I sense there was not a dry eye in the house. The wisdom I gained that evening has only increased every time I consciously respond to gut feelings that I should take note or be involved in situations or lives often of perfect strangers.

- Ron Eastwood

* The demonstration was to show that often we use only the same old methods because we are unwilling or unable to think outside the box. Volunteers were given a claw hammer and asked to remove the spike. Several tried. Some bent the nail a little, some jerked on it, some even got a block of wood to place under the head of the hammer for better leverage. None were successful. I took the entire block with nail and all and raised it over my head. I brought it down as hard as I could catching the head of the spike against the metal trim on the stage. The spike flew out. It dented the stage. It was not what he had planned, but he said, "Folks, you can always depend on our Ron to think outside the box." Laughter abounded. The momentum of the heavy block moving at such speed gave hundreds of foot pounds of energy to the head of the nail. Mere leverage with a claw hammer could never have achieved such a power ratio.
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