Love is

Posted on my FB status on Feb 14, 2014

Love is the spiritual kandinsky, the powerful rothko, the fun lichtenstein, the sexy klimt, the fun picasso, a petit peu de dali, the sensual o'keffee, the colorful matisee, and the rhythm of pollock all rolled into one. 

Love is my sensitive and loving munchkin no 1, the dainty and giving munchkin no 2, the strong and determined munchkin no 3 and the calm and happy munchkin no 4. Along with my supportive crazy family and beautiful colorful friends back home. 

Love is nasi ayam, bananaleaf rice, masak lemak, keropok lekor, apam balik, satay kambimg, tom yam, fatty crab, pisang goreng, sambal tempoyak, roti jala, tempe and petai all rolled into one. 

Love is going all the way across the world on a crazy adventure, meeting new people, getting the chance to rebuild and recreate, staying up all night trying to decode the ramblings of some scholar. 

May your hearts alway be open to giving and receiving love everyday.

Beautiful flowers...beautiful people.

Surround yourself with beautiful people and beautiful things.  

Today I went out in search of a potted plant to remind me of beautiful people that love me.  This new addition to my plant family, represents 11 beautiful souls which wanted to contribute to me pursuing my dream to study art in New York City. Its a reminder not only for those 11 people but for everyone else that did all they could....for me.  

I have been avoiding writing this entry because I know I would cry writing it. Last year, I hustled.  I did what I could to get a loan, to find money to support me pursuing my masters in New York.  There was one particular group of people that were there day in and day out and really had no other choice but to be a part of my journey.  My ex colleagues, were there from day one.  From the day I declared, "I am going to New York" to the day I flew off, till today....they have been a part of my journey, as a support system, as a witness to my everyday adventures here.  It was not easy, the frustration of not knowing where the money was coming from was so stressful and my colleagues always did what they could to support me.  Including starting a 'mami fund'.  They got together and collected money. My guess is this happened in May or June of 2013.  Fast forward to today, I discovered this about 2 weeks ago and I am deeply moved.  

Even before the discovery of the 'mami fund', I felt so blessed that they were a part of my journey and in many ways, I want them to be proud of me.  I take pictures all the time to show them my adventure which they had a huge role in, I share my journey on my FB status and when I went home for a short break, I told them all the stories..I was excited to share with them and they were always ready to listen and laugh with me.  I felt so much love from them and I still do everyday with their positive energy...they inspire me.  They remind me everyday what love is.  

And so I bought this beautiful plant.  Cause everyday when I wake up I am reminded of them.  Their support, their love, their laughter and their generosity.  So to those 11 people that pitched in.  I love you.  I am pleased to say that the funds that were collected will go towards my class trip to Paris in June and I will be going to London as a treat to myself.  

Thank you.

Firdy

Ariff

Yong Yee

Aziff

Sky

Huda

Amy

Pei Ying

Kaddy

James

Tasnim

I am sexy

I now go to the gym 3-4 times a week.  You can say its part of my inner transformation.  Started last year when a friend of mine said, 'You look all right, you just need to tone up a bit and go work out'. I was shocked at his honestly...but really I was tired of covering up all the time.

And I said to myself.....enough is enough......  I want to look hot and sexy!  I dared to say that.

My entire life I've been resisting being pretty or being judged for my looks and I always over compensated and went out of my way to prove to people I had brains.  And I constantly judged and hated the pretty girls.    So last year, 2012 August.  I started to work out and eat healthy.  But i don't think it was the working out or the change of eating habits that created a transformation.  (Mind you for 3 months i stopped and I didn't feel sexy, but I got back on track in Feb 2013)

Transformation began when I started to believe I was sexy and hot - things started to change.

During one of my contemplative moments, I realized it wasn't the gym that created the transformation.  It was my belief that 'I am sexy'.  I thought it, believed it, breathed it and in turn exuded it.  And it was around that time i noticed the attention I was getting was no longer, about me being cute or nice, I was treated as sexy.

Now this might sound like a self indulgent entry.  But i wanted to share that because I believed it and the Universe heard me, and people started to take notice.  I realized how powerful just a thought can be.  I had not lost weight or toned as much, but the attitude changed how I looked.

The power of thought.

I viewed myself differently...that also meant that I wouldn't talk bad about myself or my body.

I make a conscious effort to love my body and to not call myself fat, or anything negative.  I had to eliminate that.  I realized the trend.  When I believed that my body wasn't good enough and i expressed it....i looked different, heavier and duller in my appearance.  So no more put downs for me.

So my whole transformation started not with going to the gym, it started with my thoughts and beliefs.  And everything else that followed was easy.  Going to the gym is not a chore and neither is clean eating.  In fact I enjoy it so much that its a part of my daily life.

Physically I am working hard to achieve my ideal BMI and focusing on strength training and muay thai.  But i think the hardest part was just believing.

P.S.  When im on the treadmill and while working out, a trick i use is to repeat my mantra over and over and its totally motivates me to push myself and move forward even more when i think i can't go on anymore.  My mantra is:

'I am a sexy, confident, passionate & loving woman.  I am a panther.'

passion

My driving force in life is passion.  It keeps me sane and centered.  Some peoples driving force is commitment, some is honesty.....I think all that....even passion...stems from love.  Every driving force stems from love.  Love of the nation, for self, for people, for God, for the community...for the family.......

Lets LOVE and freely LOVE.  

This made me laugh today

Porn for the blind in braille.intrigued and find it hilarious as the same time.just fingers and an active imagination will help.


Good laughter and dirty humor to put a smile on my face.  




Laugh.
Life is more colorful with laughter.

Litter Bugs never prosper

I went to a local mall (the Curve) with my nephew Armand and took the elevators up to the third floor.  A man in his 20's was standing there and from the corner of my eye I could see that he dropped something.  I politely pointed the the piece of paper and said , ' Excuse me you dropped something'.  He didn't even look down, he said, ' I know, I already reloaded my credit'.  (Prepay credit for your mobile network can be bought in a form of a card and on it you just dial the number and key in the codes written on the card).


So this guy, doesn't need his prepaid card and just drops the trash on the floor.

Totally in disbelief of what an ass he has made hiself to be a proud litter bug...i walked over towards him, picked up the piece of paper and gave it to Armand and in a loud clear voice.

Armand what do we do with rubbish?  We throw it in the garbage. He took the piece of paper.

I told him what a good boy he was and that we always throw rubbing in the garbage.  I continued to tell Armand that The Curve has trash cans everywhere and we can throw it once we reach our floor.  The guy exited on the same floor.  And in front of him Armand gladly threw the piece of paper in the trash can located at the elevator area.

The shmuck just kept on walking with no shame.

I think he might've felt a tad bit small when a kid gladly threw a way his rubbish.  Moral of the story...before one willingly or unwilingly wants to look like an a** infront of younger kids...think twice, just throw away the trash. 

My life's' philosophy - 3 L's and an E and a C (after E)

Cause that's the core of everything positive.  Love work, self, God, Family, friends, health and everything else in between.

If not now then when?

Life is too short to be all serious and imaged out! When I can't laugh at myself....i know i gotta check myself

Cause food unites people and its great for my soul  IT is my life's mission to appreciate great food  ;)  

I color my soul and everything else that i'm attached to, with color.  It makes life vibrant interesting and everything has to have that pizzaz with color.  Pink and turquoise and red are my pick me up colors  :)