Love is

Posted on my FB status on Feb 14, 2014

Love is the spiritual kandinsky, the powerful rothko, the fun lichtenstein, the sexy klimt, the fun picasso, a petit peu de dali, the sensual o'keffee, the colorful matisee, and the rhythm of pollock all rolled into one. 

Love is my sensitive and loving munchkin no 1, the dainty and giving munchkin no 2, the strong and determined munchkin no 3 and the calm and happy munchkin no 4. Along with my supportive crazy family and beautiful colorful friends back home. 

Love is nasi ayam, bananaleaf rice, masak lemak, keropok lekor, apam balik, satay kambimg, tom yam, fatty crab, pisang goreng, sambal tempoyak, roti jala, tempe and petai all rolled into one. 

Love is going all the way across the world on a crazy adventure, meeting new people, getting the chance to rebuild and recreate, staying up all night trying to decode the ramblings of some scholar. 

May your hearts alway be open to giving and receiving love everyday.

Beautiful flowers...beautiful people.

Surround yourself with beautiful people and beautiful things.  

Today I went out in search of a potted plant to remind me of beautiful people that love me.  This new addition to my plant family, represents 11 beautiful souls which wanted to contribute to me pursuing my dream to study art in New York City. Its a reminder not only for those 11 people but for everyone else that did all they could....for me.  

I have been avoiding writing this entry because I know I would cry writing it. Last year, I hustled.  I did what I could to get a loan, to find money to support me pursuing my masters in New York.  There was one particular group of people that were there day in and day out and really had no other choice but to be a part of my journey.  My ex colleagues, were there from day one.  From the day I declared, "I am going to New York" to the day I flew off, till today....they have been a part of my journey, as a support system, as a witness to my everyday adventures here.  It was not easy, the frustration of not knowing where the money was coming from was so stressful and my colleagues always did what they could to support me.  Including starting a 'mami fund'.  They got together and collected money. My guess is this happened in May or June of 2013.  Fast forward to today, I discovered this about 2 weeks ago and I am deeply moved.  

Even before the discovery of the 'mami fund', I felt so blessed that they were a part of my journey and in many ways, I want them to be proud of me.  I take pictures all the time to show them my adventure which they had a huge role in, I share my journey on my FB status and when I went home for a short break, I told them all the stories..I was excited to share with them and they were always ready to listen and laugh with me.  I felt so much love from them and I still do everyday with their positive energy...they inspire me.  They remind me everyday what love is.  

And so I bought this beautiful plant.  Cause everyday when I wake up I am reminded of them.  Their support, their love, their laughter and their generosity.  So to those 11 people that pitched in.  I love you.  I am pleased to say that the funds that were collected will go towards my class trip to Paris in June and I will be going to London as a treat to myself.  

Thank you.

Firdy

Ariff

Yong Yee

Aziff

Sky

Huda

Amy

Pei Ying

Kaddy

James

Tasnim

I am sexy

I now go to the gym 3-4 times a week.  You can say its part of my inner transformation.  Started last year when a friend of mine said, 'You look all right, you just need to tone up a bit and go work out'. I was shocked at his honestly...but really I was tired of covering up all the time.

And I said to myself.....enough is enough......  I want to look hot and sexy!  I dared to say that.

My entire life I've been resisting being pretty or being judged for my looks and I always over compensated and went out of my way to prove to people I had brains.  And I constantly judged and hated the pretty girls.    So last year, 2012 August.  I started to work out and eat healthy.  But i don't think it was the working out or the change of eating habits that created a transformation.  (Mind you for 3 months i stopped and I didn't feel sexy, but I got back on track in Feb 2013)

Transformation began when I started to believe I was sexy and hot - things started to change.

During one of my contemplative moments, I realized it wasn't the gym that created the transformation.  It was my belief that 'I am sexy'.  I thought it, believed it, breathed it and in turn exuded it.  And it was around that time i noticed the attention I was getting was no longer, about me being cute or nice, I was treated as sexy.

Now this might sound like a self indulgent entry.  But i wanted to share that because I believed it and the Universe heard me, and people started to take notice.  I realized how powerful just a thought can be.  I had not lost weight or toned as much, but the attitude changed how I looked.

The power of thought.

I viewed myself differently...that also meant that I wouldn't talk bad about myself or my body.

I make a conscious effort to love my body and to not call myself fat, or anything negative.  I had to eliminate that.  I realized the trend.  When I believed that my body wasn't good enough and i expressed it....i looked different, heavier and duller in my appearance.  So no more put downs for me.

So my whole transformation started not with going to the gym, it started with my thoughts and beliefs.  And everything else that followed was easy.  Going to the gym is not a chore and neither is clean eating.  In fact I enjoy it so much that its a part of my daily life.

Physically I am working hard to achieve my ideal BMI and focusing on strength training and muay thai.  But i think the hardest part was just believing.

P.S.  When im on the treadmill and while working out, a trick i use is to repeat my mantra over and over and its totally motivates me to push myself and move forward even more when i think i can't go on anymore.  My mantra is:

'I am a sexy, confident, passionate & loving woman.  I am a panther.'

passion

My driving force in life is passion.  It keeps me sane and centered.  Some peoples driving force is commitment, some is honesty.....I think all that....even passion...stems from love.  Every driving force stems from love.  Love of the nation, for self, for people, for God, for the community...for the family.......

Lets LOVE and freely LOVE.  

This made me laugh today

Porn for the blind in braille.intrigued and find it hilarious as the same time.just fingers and an active imagination will help.


Good laughter and dirty humor to put a smile on my face.  




Laugh.
Life is more colorful with laughter.

Litter Bugs never prosper

I went to a local mall (the Curve) with my nephew Armand and took the elevators up to the third floor.  A man in his 20's was standing there and from the corner of my eye I could see that he dropped something.  I politely pointed the the piece of paper and said , ' Excuse me you dropped something'.  He didn't even look down, he said, ' I know, I already reloaded my credit'.  (Prepay credit for your mobile network can be bought in a form of a card and on it you just dial the number and key in the codes written on the card).


So this guy, doesn't need his prepaid card and just drops the trash on the floor.

Totally in disbelief of what an ass he has made hiself to be a proud litter bug...i walked over towards him, picked up the piece of paper and gave it to Armand and in a loud clear voice.

Armand what do we do with rubbish?  We throw it in the garbage. He took the piece of paper.

I told him what a good boy he was and that we always throw rubbing in the garbage.  I continued to tell Armand that The Curve has trash cans everywhere and we can throw it once we reach our floor.  The guy exited on the same floor.  And in front of him Armand gladly threw the piece of paper in the trash can located at the elevator area.

The shmuck just kept on walking with no shame.

I think he might've felt a tad bit small when a kid gladly threw a way his rubbish.  Moral of the story...before one willingly or unwilingly wants to look like an a** infront of younger kids...think twice, just throw away the trash. 

My life's' philosophy - 3 L's and an E and a C (after E)

Cause that's the core of everything positive.  Love work, self, God, Family, friends, health and everything else in between.

If not now then when?

Life is too short to be all serious and imaged out! When I can't laugh at myself....i know i gotta check myself

Cause food unites people and its great for my soul  IT is my life's mission to appreciate great food  ;)  

I color my soul and everything else that i'm attached to, with color.  It makes life vibrant interesting and everything has to have that pizzaz with color.  Pink and turquoise and red are my pick me up colors  :)

As strong as your weakest link?

I have met many types of people from all over the world. I have experienced a whole spectrum of personalities.

And when the going gets tough people reach their breaking point and the not so "pretty side" of them comes out.

"They" (who ever 'they' maybe) say that the true colors of someone comes out when they show the ugly side of them. This is true. You can see someone's true colors, when you see how they respond to pressure, challenges and hardships.

However this point of view I believe is just 1/2 of it. What about the true colors of a person when they are in contribution, when they are kind and loving. That also shows the true colors of a person.

Though I have my 'bitching' sessions about certain few....complaining about their not so colorful true colors...they to have their moments where they really come out looking like a hero.

You know the saying 'you are as strong as your weakest link' that may be true....however i like to see it from a 'glass 1/2 full' point of view.  'You are as strong as your strongest link and weak as your weakest link'.

The duality of life is in everything.

Today....see everything from the duality of life. If you see hate....take a look at peace.  If you see peace don't be complacent...remind yourself of war so that you work on peace to ensure it lasts forever. 


**This entry has been saved as a draft for weeks.  Today after all the 'crap' going on in Kuala Lumpur, with the unfortunate incidences of ignorant backlash by vandalizing churches I thought to finally publish this post**


A lot of negativity, passionate FB status messages, people joining FB groups to support and not support this issue......let us all start with ourselves and make a change.  Channel that passion, that anger into useful positive action that takes our nation 10 steps forward again.  


Malaysia..let utilize our strengths as a multiracial society....by creating positive changes with one intention....give love.  This isn't the pretty side of Malaysia....lets use our strengths to have peace amongst EVERYONE.   

A Decade, 1999 - 2009

Its been ten years since I've moved back home to Kuala Lumpur.

Its been surreal. A total blur at times. COnsidering before that I have never stayed at one place longer than 2.5 years.

Graduated from high school in Lima, Peru and came 'back' in 1999. 10 years....*takes a deep breath*

When i was 18, my story was...I spent my whole life overseas

Now i'm 28, my story is...i've been back for 10 years....

And when I'm 36.....I've spent 1/2 or my life overseas.

And God willing when i'm 54...i've spent most of my life in KL (assuming i don't move again)

The whole age thing has really gotten to me. I had to force myself to sit down and honestly ask why...and i realized. I feel i have not accomplished anything that I am proud of. I have been involved with amazing projects, but i feel inadequate at times when it comes to my accomplishment.

Someone close to me said, i feel this way cause i keep comparing my carrer with other people my age ...and they are way up there. He posed a different perspective.

I may not have the office or the PA or the huge salary...but I have passion for family, for my creativity. **I let this digest for a few days** My response

He has a point.....but...... or

He has a point.

I have accomplished and experienced so much however i know there is alot more in me. Im like the mercedes benz driving around in singapore....it can go super fast....but the merc can only explore 1/3 of its speed potential cause there is a speed limit. So its such a waste....its not allowed to fully go at high speed which is what the car is more than capable of doing.

(at this point some of you are reacting huh...? You comparing your self to a mercedes.?!?! )

I don't know if my analogy is good or not...I need a space where i can vroom vrooom vroommmmmmm and ride off at high speeds. Like P.Coelho said...

“Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks.

Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned;

perhaps she won't suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow.

But when the person looks back-she will hear her heart”

Here is to a decade!! Celebrate, learn, move on. New moment.

K.L.,......K.L.....10 years....at times you have been great to me...at times you are just an ass. Regardless of the stress you have given me....I still love you (as long as you feed me great food...and you just tone it down with your traffic jams and road rage)

I started this blog...with the pure intention to write and share. I have gotten feedback which has motivated me to keep on writing. Which has led to 3 blogs and 2 twitter account and God knows how many email accounts..(Gotta love the internet!!!) I fell in love with writing/sharing/rambling/etcetcetc...Feel free to leave a comment or drop me an email :D

Happy Holidays & Happy new year....much love, adventure and a whole lot of great food

Welcome 2010...what will i make of you?!

Beauty...

From my previous blog entry, F an anonymous guest left a comment and asked me on my take on beauty.

"What's your take on beauty runs skin deep? I have encountered more often than not that beauty is essential even when u are looking for job. Do you think appearances and looks go a long way in life?"

Hmmm....

Well i can only talk about what I have experienced.

If I had a pretty face (pan asian chinese seem to sell well here, or if you have caucasian features) ....yeah I would milk it as much as it can......sell it till it can't be sold no more. Use it to my advantage....

However that's not me.....Beauty to me is more than what I see. I remember in high school there was this good looking guy....but his personality was ugly as butt....he was aloof, self centered and a bit too up himself...... his personality made him ugly.

I have met people which would be considered pleasent to look at but are just so amazingly beautiful......he had this presence about him...so much charisma..that he could read the dictionary and i would think it was charming!

I've been in the presence of beautiful (they just looked good)...but have the most blah, personality. total ZZZZZZzzzzzz

I don't think beauty is essential say if i were looking for a job (unless i was looking for a job to be on tv or to be an air stewardess).

If beauty get someone far in life...then good for them, if companies are biased and judge potential employees based on looks........boo to them. Yeah, it does happen...but bitching about them can only get me so far. Looks can get you far in life....if used to manipulate to get what you want...do I agree with this.....not at all..but it does happen.

I am a firm believer, presence, charisma, brains is beauty.. and can get you ahead further in life.

So anonymous F.....these are my views......

Think outside of the box, use your right brain...and feel free to ask questions

Today, during a talk/discussion/ Q&A session there was a guest speaker....Fahmi, he said something which really hit a nerve (in which in my mind i reacted 'Damn straight, hallelujah', but in real life i just smiled and nodded)..

He said something whithin their context...Encourage intellectual freedom in schools.

This statement made me think of my experiences...

I grew up with the privilege of going to private international schools my whole life. Hence the reason why my mother tongue is English and my malay makes me sound like a minah rempit. ( though i take pride that i can speak bahaso nogori)

I'm not saying public school here in Malaysia sucks....the over all attitude and teachings are so left brained so mechanical.

I graduated from a private high school (american system)..and the one thing i remember learning was to think to analyze to dissect and to think outside the box....to come up with my own theories...i remember my thesis when we were reading Othello...my argument that the downfall of Othello was a character flaw and not because of destiny....and i was one of those that preferred theatre and art classes.....so art class was always do what you want..i did art critiques, went to galleries analyzed art, artists, art movements....what a joy!

I can back to Malaysia......got myself into a Local private university....I felt so intellectually stunted. Now i'm not preaching that the education system here sucks....but everything stems from the attitude which is clearly reflected in the education system.

I feed you with information and i control that information. You regurgitate it in you exam. Get good results, and off you go into the world where there is a right answer....give the right answer and you will go far....that is how i see the education system is here

..I remember a lecturer saying to me.. "You students like to do your own thing...I don't get you....you come for consultaion, do what we say and you will pass...."

In my mind i was thinking, "&^%$#$$%#%, then why don't you do the assignment and pass it up and put my name". Working within a set of rules and using our creativity is fine by me...that is were the challenge is- the thinking outside of the box...but this case was..do it like this and you will pass. Do it like that / think for yourself...and you will fail.

It was so grilled into the students heads that you have to consult your work...do it the 'right' way get the green light...then go complete your assignment......

it was so automatic that in painting class my lecturer was perplexed....'Why are you all consulting with me what to paint, there is no right or wrong, just paint what you want, consultation with me is to ask questions like what material do you recommend i use or do you think my composition is good"....It seems the students were so scared to paint what they want...it was such a foreign concept.. I was so entertained by the faces of the dominant left brained classmates......i could see it in their faces and it clearly had the look 'what-do-you-mean-we-can-paint-what-we-want?'

It has stunted my intellectual growth .there was no encouragement to think to talk to be loud say something and be vocal....so i was always called on so say something by my lecturers when they would ask a question and all the students just sat there........in my mind i was thinking 'when no one answers your question call on me to say something give an opinion', but when i have an opinion you hate it' pffftttt to lecturers that had no passion to teach and share knowledge......

..cause i was the one that always had something to say - which made me uber popular - NOT! If anything my out spoken-ness has earned me the label of the one with the mat salleh accent, melor yang takder hidayah (very original compared to melor the telor.....funny yet so mean), that never puas hati about anything.

Looking back...yeah there was something I tak puas hati, so I did something about it, which almost always was 'who do i see to talk about this'. It was too against the grain for alot of people. And I was not afriad to voice my opinion...my opinion at times gave a different perspective - however it wasn't seen that way by a few lecturers and some of my classmates.

We should all be encouraged to speak, to think, and most importantly encourage the freedom to ask questions! Do our local schools encourage this?

Now in no way i am saying that private schools are better...cause i've seen my fair share of private schools in kl which are equivalent to public schools except you just pay more. And i've seen public schools which produce great thinkers....its the overall attitude which gets me so irked. There were quite a few bad apple type lecturers as menioned above...but there were quite a few great apples in the bunch...kudos to those lecturers.

If I had the financial back and freedom to choose, after graduating from my high school in Lima, Peru, I would've gone to art school - and majored in art history (my 2 loves....art and analyzing!) i wouldn't have come back....

**rereading me entry**

I sound so preachy......*thinks to publish or not to publish*......

I'm passionate about this issue and i shall share it......

Responding to Gut Feelings - article written by Ron Eastwood

Wanted to share this article with you.

RESPONDING TO GUT FEELINGS

written by RON EASTWOOD,

submitted to finerminds.com

I am 68 years of age. A number of years ago I was sort of adicted to personal growth seminars. I give credit to each and every one of the dozen or so that I attended for adding immensely to the richness of my life. However, there is one experience that in my mind outshines fire walking, deep breathing, meditation, sweat lodge and all the rest. I have only shared it with a hand full of my closest friends. I think it may hold meaning for this readership.

The particular seminar was like many others. Two or three hundred people meeting in a large double wide hotel conference room, the kind with an accordion type separator which may be opened to make two large rooms into one even larger room. As typical of this kind of seminar it was hosted by one well known motivational speaker whom in turn invited several other presenters each with a specialty. I do not have permission to use names so out of respect for those whom I discuss we shall leave them nameless.

It was Sunday afternoon/evening the final day of a three-day seminar. Our speaker had just returned from a tour of Africa I believe. It was a long presentation which nearly put me to sleep. I only remember one major theme. That was the wisdom that we often fail to see and experience miraculous events because we go through life with blinders. The speaker stressed that one needs only to stay fully aware of every chance encounter. And to ALWAYS trust that often fleeting sense that something unique has or is taking place moment to moment. Trust your intuitions.

Our host came to the microphone and dismissed us all for one hour for dinner break. He said be in your seats by 7:00 P.M. sharp. Our final speaker will be worth the entire cost of the seminar all by herself. Do not miss a minute.

The Moment My Heart Skipped A Beat

With that I sprinted out the door and ran up to the next corner where there was a Denny's restaurant. It was crowded and it took fifteen minutes for me to place my order. As I waited anxiously I reflected on the previous speaker. I had noted that in my own life there has been an amazing sychronicity between little things I have done and subsequent incredible events flowing from them. For example I was hitch hiking from California to Florida to visit my parents. I was in downtown Atlanta, Georgia. A young boy came running toward me on the sidewalk with both of his tennis shoe laces completely untied. Almost instinctively as a former paramedic and First Aid Instructor I bent over and caught him in one of my outstretched arms to slow him down.

I asked him if he would let me tie his shoe strings so he would not trip on them and fall. He was about six or seven. He let me tie them and as I was standing up from my kneeling position I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard the deep voice of a very large black man saying, "Hey Boy, where you from?" My heart did a flip flop. Here I was in strange surroundings, not another white person in sight and this booming voice from a towering man holding me down with his massive hand. "California," I said hesitatingly.

The Lead-Up To Martin Luther King's Family

He released his grip and as I straightened up into a standing position I was aware of a broad grin coming across his face. He extended his hand for a hand shake as he said, "I knowed ya wasn't from these parts. No self respecting white man in the south would stoop to tie a little Nigger boy's shoe strings." With that I relaxed. He asked me what I do in California. I told him I was a taxi driver. He asked me if I could read a street map. To which I said, "Certainly." He said, "If I give you these car keys would you be able and willing to drive that big black hearse full of sacks of mail over to Dr. King's home and give them to his wife?" [Martin Luther King, Jr. had just been killed three days earlier in Memphis while assisting the local garabage collectors in a strike.] That led to me meeting Coretta Scott King and the three children. I ended up working as a volunteer as the family chauffeur all the rest of that summer.

I was now leaving Denny's and the time was 6:50 p.m. Just enough time to get back to the seminar for the final speaker. I rushed into the parking lot nearly bumbing an elderly woman who was leaning against the side of a big black Cadillac. I just caught a glimpse of her face. She seemed to have tears in her eyes. I continued on to the hole in the chain link fence which would allow me to shave a couple minutes off the time it would take to go clear to the corner. I started through the fence. I had one of those flash feelings. The right thing to do would be to return and see if the woman needed assistance. I remembered the words from the afternoon seminar. Was this one of those moments which may have some significance? Could I close my eyes and mind and get back to the important speaker? It was a no brainer. I did as I usually do in such cases. I returned and spoke to the crying woman.

A Chance Encounter Between Life And Death

We spent perhaps fifteen minutes. She had just taken her three adult children to dinner at Denny's to discuss the terms of her will. It turned into a greedy argument and nasty scene. She had left the three inside arguing. She told me she was going to go home and change her will and then take her gun and kill herself. I gave her a big hug. We held each other a long moment. I felt her relax after a short time. I stepped back and asked her to promise me she would keep in touch and "Please don't kill yourself." We talked some more and she told me she had spent her life as an educator and motivational speaker, but couldn't get through to her own children. I suddenly remember that I was missing the seminar. I crawled through the fence and ran all the way back to the hotel.

Outside the conference room I could hear the speaker. I waited for an applause and tried to quietly open the door during the audience reaction to her presentation. The lights were out with only the spot lights on the podium. I stood quietly in the dark waiting for another audience response to seek a seat. She started to speak and stopped in mid sentence.

Everything Is Connected

"Someone has just entered the room. I have a very strong intuitive feeling we need to know who this is." The moderator stepped to the microphone and asked me to identify myself. "Ron Eastwood," I said, feeling embarassed.

There was great laughter because it seems throughout the conference I had been one of those who jumped up first to volunteer every time volunteers were asked for. I was the one who removed an iron spike from an 8" x 8" timber with my bare hands completely ruining one of his demonstrations (see below)*. Jokingly he said, "We should have known it would be you. Find a seat please."

The speaker said, "No. I want Mr. Eastwood to come up here." I went forward. The moderator stepped aside and said, "Here, you may have my seat." Another round of laughter. I was really feeling humiliated. She did not let me sit down. She said, "Ron you must tell us why you are late. I have a tremendously strong intuitive feeling that this will be important." I briefly told what had delayed me. I mentioned the name of the woman whom I had stopped to comfort. When I finished the speaker was visibly shaken.

More Than Just A Gut Feeling

"Ladies and gentlemen I now know why I had such strong energies when Ron entered the room. My very first mentor after I finished graduate school was (the name of the woman in the Denny's parking lot). I have not seen her in years."

The silence was immense. With the bright spot lights in my eyes I could not see faces, but I sense there was not a dry eye in the house. The wisdom I gained that evening has only increased every time I consciously respond to gut feelings that I should take note or be involved in situations or lives often of perfect strangers.

- Ron Eastwood

* The demonstration was to show that often we use only the same old methods because we are unwilling or unable to think outside the box. Volunteers were given a claw hammer and asked to remove the spike. Several tried. Some bent the nail a little, some jerked on it, some even got a block of wood to place under the head of the hammer for better leverage. None were successful. I took the entire block with nail and all and raised it over my head. I brought it down as hard as I could catching the head of the spike against the metal trim on the stage. The spike flew out. It dented the stage. It was not what he had planned, but he said, "Folks, you can always depend on our Ron to think outside the box." Laughter abounded. The momentum of the heavy block moving at such speed gave hundreds of foot pounds of energy to the head of the nail. Mere leverage with a claw hammer could never have achieved such a power ratio.

Adventures alone

I've been avoiding to write again.

Was telling my friend, that I liked doing things alone.  Like eating alone, shopping alone, errands alone.  Sometimes when I'm feeling blue I'll head on over to my favorite chicken rice shop and eat.....alone....or go to a mall alone to shop.  He encourage me to write about it.  

I need my time alone.  It doesn't scare me.  In fact I love it cause it is when I am alone when my internal voices are loud!  It gives me time to think of the things that are bugging me, the things that I am avoiding I face it during this alone time.  

A scary thought.  I do know quite a number of people that hate being alone...cause they don't want to answer those questions or thoughts at the back of their mind.  And if they are alone they fear to face what they have been avoiding.  Hence the reason why they always have to be around people or be doing something with someone......sorta like a headless chicken running around with the illusion 'i got my shit together'.

My alone time is my mental time to get my shit in order.  

Alone time can be liberating.  A few years back, I went to the Kanye West concert alone. Crazy stupid pathetic......whatever say I.  I went and actually found it liberating cause when i wanted to scream like a maniac I did, when i wanted to dance I did...yeah i saw friends there and chatted for a while....but i liked that i went alone.  It was fun....and i wanted to push myself - testing myself if i can let go of that sense of security to go with someone so i wouldn't look stupid.  

My next alone adventure......traveling alone on a vacation.  To a beach....that will truly be intense, fun and alot of 'internal talking' with a dash of picture taking.  My way of meditation and time to think, reflect and be free spirited.  

www.freedigitalphotos.net

Do you like being alone?  

What are your 'alone time' activities.....

MERDEKA! MERDEKA! MERDEKA!

I am far from political when it comes to my blog.  But todays entry...I am going to go there. I am going to be political but not in an ugly, angry way.

There has been a video, text messages and alot of ranting on twitter and FB status...about how shitty malaysia is, how there is so much injustices etc etc etc.  Those people protesting against the government will be wearing black on our 52nd year of independence.

Its sad.  

If I want a change, then it is up to me. 

Bitching takes alot of energy....and its much easier than assessing the situation and taking responsibility.  If I am not happy with my nation then it is up to me to create a nation which i want to like it.  I may be 1 person in this country.  But if i have the ability to bitch and enroll people to join me....then I can definitely shift that energy into something POSITIVE AND PURPOSEFULLY PRODUCTIVE.   Enroll people into doing something for the community.  Start small and let the positive actions grow.  

I believe wearing black is a cop out.  Don't like this...don't like that...hate this..hate that.  If you don't like it...then do something PRODUCTIVE.  

I am against police brutality when under police custody.

I am against abuse of power.

I am against cover ups.

I am against controlled media.  

I choose to not wear black and I don't want to teach my children to "wear black".  I believe there are other ways to be heard and taken seriously.   

My family and I have been affected by terroism (being held hostage), by war were we lost our home and sentimental belongings.....I have travelled the world where health care is to expensive, where the indigenous people are treated like crap, where cost of living is so high that living in the ghetto was normal and accepted, where inflation was sky high and carrying guns and shootings was not a big deal. Where the governments beyond belief.  Compared to Malaysia...Malaysia is a luxury.  Look at now...and move forward....not take 10 steps back.

Yeah there are quite a few things in this country which I don't agree with however .....its my attitude.  This merdeka....I can give malaysia a middle finger.  Malaysia isn't the government.  Malaysia is about the people, the attitude, the environment.  

Yeah a few bad apples can ruin the whole bunch.  In my eyes....I have a choice of my attitude about merdeka.     Cause there are plenty of good apples in the bunch. 

Like Ghandi said, Be the change you want to see. 

This merdeka i will not be wearing black, because I have faith in Malaysia and her people.  

MERDEKA!   MERDEKA!   MERDEKA! 

Negaraku, tanah tumpahnya darahku,

Rakyat hidup, bersatu dan maju,

Rahmat bahagia, Tuhan kurniakan,

My country, the land where my blood is shed,

The people live united and progressive,

Blessings of happiness, may God grant