own quiet moment

I think the best way to understand someone is to understand yourself. Better if that someone leaves you alone, for your own quiet moment.. to think things through… if you don’t know who you are.. how would you go to know others… you don’t understand yourself… you wouldn’t understand others…

Paolo Coelho - By the River Pierda I sat down and wept

By the River Pierda I sat down and wept....this is the oddest title for a book I ever came across...however the most real and honest love story of paolo's. I am not a fan of loves stories...but this is the first one i read that hit a nerve.

If I can't experience positive emotions on my own such as bliss, then how am i able to create it with someone else on my life.

If i can't face the negative emotions on my own, then how am I going to persevere on my own when shit hits the fan of 'life

*thinking*

For my relationships (with God, with the universe, my family and friends and nature) to improve....i must first be in a relationship with my self and be honest - its like me standing in front of a huge mirror being butt naked and see me as it really is....in a out.

Everything starts from within.....and taking a look at whats within

*Painting by Gustav Klimt*

what do i really mean when I say....

My artsy friend and I were having a discussion. About subtext...what do we really mean when we say something and what is it that we want to say......i thought this as a hilarious concept...what if everyone in the world said what they really mean.....


a: 'hey', giving a smile i am saying hello

b: 'Oh.....Hey', returning the polite gesture with a fake smile i will play with this useless social game of saying hello just to not appear rude, but really this conversation has no great significance to me and neither do you cause your a hi-bye friend.

a: "how are you?" trying to make conversation and sounding interested

b: "umm....good" i'm trying not to appear rude and will continue with this conversation even though i'm giving the clear signals for you to go away.

a: "hey give me your number, i'll call you esok and we'll do something k" i don't want to appear that i really don;t care about you so to appear interested I shall make a lame attempt at getting your number which will only take up space in my phone book

b: "Yeah sure, 012345678" please, i gave you my number a few times before this and i shall not hold my breath waiting for you to call....


This 'HI AND BYE CONVERSATION OF NO GREAT SIGNIFICANCE" is what i see alot of the time in KL, and I myself admit that i have had this conversation way to many times.


So this conversation of "Hi...how have you been? What you doing now? hey pass me ure number, we should hang out...i'll call you!" Really means " Hey, as to not appear rude and stuck up, i'm just going to make meaningless conversation with you and act like i genuinely care about whats going on in your life".

Honestly i would much rather have the
'Hey'
'Hey'

And that's the end of that conversation. Just acknowledge the other person, give a compliment if its sincere and real....and that's it.


As much as i can preach that honesty is the best policy and that i'm a direct person that speaks her mind....it all at times can be bullshit.

*thinking

How often do i sugarcoat what i want to say? and most importantly WHY?
why do we/ I speak this language....of half truths...


*thinking

Fear - fear of the judgments, consequences, not knowing what will happen if i said the honest truth, mistakes

So the 'hey, how are you'
can possible mean
"i don't care about you, i'm just appearing nice"
or
in the other extreme "hey, your really hot, can i have you now?"


so what if we really did live our lives like Jim Carrey in Liar Liar?