Profound advice from my mother.
In 2004, I graduated and took the first job offered to me. A friend approached me and asked for financial help. This was the thought going through my head. *I trust this guy and I will help him, after all I can afford it.* I handed him the cash that day itself. This wasn't the first time I've helped people out with whatever I can. Not necessarily money.
I never sat down and wondered is it cause I can't say no or I can't accept their *possibly negative thoughts of me if i reject them and say no or is it the whole superwoman complex, I-will-save-you syndrome? Whatever the reason, I help and help with whatever I can, but it got to a point where I said to myself, 'Wait a minute if I help this guy with my time, I will have no time for myself and I kinda need that time', or 'If i give this guy money to feed his family I'm not going to have much'. I had gotten myself in a situation of helping other people to the point where I didn't have much left (be it money or time and energy!)
It started getting to me cause I felt *guilty for saying NO. For not helping.
Frustrated and down, I called my mother and told her my dilemma. I remember asking her, 'Ma how do you do it? How do I say NO? How can you NOT help people? She listened and replied, 'The same reason why I can't save every stray cat living in the streets Mel.' Said my mother who is a cat lover.
She has faith and trusts the cycle of life. She has faith that the street cats were smart and cunning enough to survive in the streets.
*I paused and said my good byes*
As usual, I sat and digested it for a while.
If she did save every cat she saw....she would be the stereotype of the old lady and a thousand cats in her house with a funky smell which can shock your sense of smell a block away!
*I got it ma.
Its ok for me to say NO, I got to learn I'm not superwoman.
I must learn to have faith that life has its challenges and that the universe will do what it has to do. If I don't help out life still goes and to just trust the universe.
That's the easy part. The challenging part for me has been letting go of the guilt. It can be heavy on my chest. In time it gets lighter and eventually the heaviness is gone.
*A few days ago, a stray cat was found in the parking lot. There in a little dark corner, was a mother cat and her 2 babies. I automatically jumped to the rescue.....(We can't just do nothing!)
Without hesitation I looked for her. As soon as I saw her I thought we have to do something. Lets take her in!
But I realized this might be a problem since our building has a strict No animal policy. How can we take care of the cat and kittens?
Who can take care of them? Who loves cats so much that is willing to take care of them?
*Speed Dial *mother* Two minutes into the conversation she reminded me ...."We can't save every stray cat!"
I didn't take the white mommy cat and her 2 kittens in. I've grudgingly accepted that they can't come home with us.
I did the next best thing. Leave food and water for the mother...........twice a day.
