Think outside of the box, use your right brain...and feel free to ask questions

Today, during a talk/discussion/ Q&A session there was a guest speaker....Fahmi, he said something which really hit a nerve (in which in my mind i reacted 'Damn straight, hallelujah', but in real life i just smiled and nodded)..

He said something whithin their context...Encourage intellectual freedom in schools.

This statement made me think of my experiences...

I grew up with the privilege of going to private international schools my whole life. Hence the reason why my mother tongue is English and my malay makes me sound like a minah rempit. ( though i take pride that i can speak bahaso nogori)

I'm not saying public school here in Malaysia sucks....the over all attitude and teachings are so left brained so mechanical.

I graduated from a private high school (american system)..and the one thing i remember learning was to think to analyze to dissect and to think outside the box....to come up with my own theories...i remember my thesis when we were reading Othello...my argument that the downfall of Othello was a character flaw and not because of destiny....and i was one of those that preferred theatre and art classes.....so art class was always do what you want..i did art critiques, went to galleries analyzed art, artists, art movements....what a joy!

I can back to Malaysia......got myself into a Local private university....I felt so intellectually stunted. Now i'm not preaching that the education system here sucks....but everything stems from the attitude which is clearly reflected in the education system.

I feed you with information and i control that information. You regurgitate it in you exam. Get good results, and off you go into the world where there is a right answer....give the right answer and you will go far....that is how i see the education system is here

..I remember a lecturer saying to me.. "You students like to do your own thing...I don't get you....you come for consultaion, do what we say and you will pass...."

In my mind i was thinking, "&^%$#$$%#%, then why don't you do the assignment and pass it up and put my name". Working within a set of rules and using our creativity is fine by me...that is were the challenge is- the thinking outside of the box...but this case was..do it like this and you will pass. Do it like that / think for yourself...and you will fail.

It was so grilled into the students heads that you have to consult your work...do it the 'right' way get the green light...then go complete your assignment......

it was so automatic that in painting class my lecturer was perplexed....'Why are you all consulting with me what to paint, there is no right or wrong, just paint what you want, consultation with me is to ask questions like what material do you recommend i use or do you think my composition is good"....It seems the students were so scared to paint what they want...it was such a foreign concept.. I was so entertained by the faces of the dominant left brained classmates......i could see it in their faces and it clearly had the look 'what-do-you-mean-we-can-paint-what-we-want?'

It has stunted my intellectual growth .there was no encouragement to think to talk to be loud say something and be vocal....so i was always called on so say something by my lecturers when they would ask a question and all the students just sat there........in my mind i was thinking 'when no one answers your question call on me to say something give an opinion', but when i have an opinion you hate it' pffftttt to lecturers that had no passion to teach and share knowledge......

..cause i was the one that always had something to say - which made me uber popular - NOT! If anything my out spoken-ness has earned me the label of the one with the mat salleh accent, melor yang takder hidayah (very original compared to melor the telor.....funny yet so mean), that never puas hati about anything.

Looking back...yeah there was something I tak puas hati, so I did something about it, which almost always was 'who do i see to talk about this'. It was too against the grain for alot of people. And I was not afriad to voice my opinion...my opinion at times gave a different perspective - however it wasn't seen that way by a few lecturers and some of my classmates.

We should all be encouraged to speak, to think, and most importantly encourage the freedom to ask questions! Do our local schools encourage this?

Now in no way i am saying that private schools are better...cause i've seen my fair share of private schools in kl which are equivalent to public schools except you just pay more. And i've seen public schools which produce great thinkers....its the overall attitude which gets me so irked. There were quite a few bad apple type lecturers as menioned above...but there were quite a few great apples in the bunch...kudos to those lecturers.

If I had the financial back and freedom to choose, after graduating from my high school in Lima, Peru, I would've gone to art school - and majored in art history (my 2 loves....art and analyzing!) i wouldn't have come back....

**rereading me entry**

I sound so preachy......*thinks to publish or not to publish*......

I'm passionate about this issue and i shall share it......

Responding to Gut Feelings - article written by Ron Eastwood

Wanted to share this article with you.

RESPONDING TO GUT FEELINGS

written by RON EASTWOOD,

submitted to finerminds.com

I am 68 years of age. A number of years ago I was sort of adicted to personal growth seminars. I give credit to each and every one of the dozen or so that I attended for adding immensely to the richness of my life. However, there is one experience that in my mind outshines fire walking, deep breathing, meditation, sweat lodge and all the rest. I have only shared it with a hand full of my closest friends. I think it may hold meaning for this readership.

The particular seminar was like many others. Two or three hundred people meeting in a large double wide hotel conference room, the kind with an accordion type separator which may be opened to make two large rooms into one even larger room. As typical of this kind of seminar it was hosted by one well known motivational speaker whom in turn invited several other presenters each with a specialty. I do not have permission to use names so out of respect for those whom I discuss we shall leave them nameless.

It was Sunday afternoon/evening the final day of a three-day seminar. Our speaker had just returned from a tour of Africa I believe. It was a long presentation which nearly put me to sleep. I only remember one major theme. That was the wisdom that we often fail to see and experience miraculous events because we go through life with blinders. The speaker stressed that one needs only to stay fully aware of every chance encounter. And to ALWAYS trust that often fleeting sense that something unique has or is taking place moment to moment. Trust your intuitions.

Our host came to the microphone and dismissed us all for one hour for dinner break. He said be in your seats by 7:00 P.M. sharp. Our final speaker will be worth the entire cost of the seminar all by herself. Do not miss a minute.

The Moment My Heart Skipped A Beat

With that I sprinted out the door and ran up to the next corner where there was a Denny's restaurant. It was crowded and it took fifteen minutes for me to place my order. As I waited anxiously I reflected on the previous speaker. I had noted that in my own life there has been an amazing sychronicity between little things I have done and subsequent incredible events flowing from them. For example I was hitch hiking from California to Florida to visit my parents. I was in downtown Atlanta, Georgia. A young boy came running toward me on the sidewalk with both of his tennis shoe laces completely untied. Almost instinctively as a former paramedic and First Aid Instructor I bent over and caught him in one of my outstretched arms to slow him down.

I asked him if he would let me tie his shoe strings so he would not trip on them and fall. He was about six or seven. He let me tie them and as I was standing up from my kneeling position I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard the deep voice of a very large black man saying, "Hey Boy, where you from?" My heart did a flip flop. Here I was in strange surroundings, not another white person in sight and this booming voice from a towering man holding me down with his massive hand. "California," I said hesitatingly.

The Lead-Up To Martin Luther King's Family

He released his grip and as I straightened up into a standing position I was aware of a broad grin coming across his face. He extended his hand for a hand shake as he said, "I knowed ya wasn't from these parts. No self respecting white man in the south would stoop to tie a little Nigger boy's shoe strings." With that I relaxed. He asked me what I do in California. I told him I was a taxi driver. He asked me if I could read a street map. To which I said, "Certainly." He said, "If I give you these car keys would you be able and willing to drive that big black hearse full of sacks of mail over to Dr. King's home and give them to his wife?" [Martin Luther King, Jr. had just been killed three days earlier in Memphis while assisting the local garabage collectors in a strike.] That led to me meeting Coretta Scott King and the three children. I ended up working as a volunteer as the family chauffeur all the rest of that summer.

I was now leaving Denny's and the time was 6:50 p.m. Just enough time to get back to the seminar for the final speaker. I rushed into the parking lot nearly bumbing an elderly woman who was leaning against the side of a big black Cadillac. I just caught a glimpse of her face. She seemed to have tears in her eyes. I continued on to the hole in the chain link fence which would allow me to shave a couple minutes off the time it would take to go clear to the corner. I started through the fence. I had one of those flash feelings. The right thing to do would be to return and see if the woman needed assistance. I remembered the words from the afternoon seminar. Was this one of those moments which may have some significance? Could I close my eyes and mind and get back to the important speaker? It was a no brainer. I did as I usually do in such cases. I returned and spoke to the crying woman.

A Chance Encounter Between Life And Death

We spent perhaps fifteen minutes. She had just taken her three adult children to dinner at Denny's to discuss the terms of her will. It turned into a greedy argument and nasty scene. She had left the three inside arguing. She told me she was going to go home and change her will and then take her gun and kill herself. I gave her a big hug. We held each other a long moment. I felt her relax after a short time. I stepped back and asked her to promise me she would keep in touch and "Please don't kill yourself." We talked some more and she told me she had spent her life as an educator and motivational speaker, but couldn't get through to her own children. I suddenly remember that I was missing the seminar. I crawled through the fence and ran all the way back to the hotel.

Outside the conference room I could hear the speaker. I waited for an applause and tried to quietly open the door during the audience reaction to her presentation. The lights were out with only the spot lights on the podium. I stood quietly in the dark waiting for another audience response to seek a seat. She started to speak and stopped in mid sentence.

Everything Is Connected

"Someone has just entered the room. I have a very strong intuitive feeling we need to know who this is." The moderator stepped to the microphone and asked me to identify myself. "Ron Eastwood," I said, feeling embarassed.

There was great laughter because it seems throughout the conference I had been one of those who jumped up first to volunteer every time volunteers were asked for. I was the one who removed an iron spike from an 8" x 8" timber with my bare hands completely ruining one of his demonstrations (see below)*. Jokingly he said, "We should have known it would be you. Find a seat please."

The speaker said, "No. I want Mr. Eastwood to come up here." I went forward. The moderator stepped aside and said, "Here, you may have my seat." Another round of laughter. I was really feeling humiliated. She did not let me sit down. She said, "Ron you must tell us why you are late. I have a tremendously strong intuitive feeling that this will be important." I briefly told what had delayed me. I mentioned the name of the woman whom I had stopped to comfort. When I finished the speaker was visibly shaken.

More Than Just A Gut Feeling

"Ladies and gentlemen I now know why I had such strong energies when Ron entered the room. My very first mentor after I finished graduate school was (the name of the woman in the Denny's parking lot). I have not seen her in years."

The silence was immense. With the bright spot lights in my eyes I could not see faces, but I sense there was not a dry eye in the house. The wisdom I gained that evening has only increased every time I consciously respond to gut feelings that I should take note or be involved in situations or lives often of perfect strangers.

- Ron Eastwood

* The demonstration was to show that often we use only the same old methods because we are unwilling or unable to think outside the box. Volunteers were given a claw hammer and asked to remove the spike. Several tried. Some bent the nail a little, some jerked on it, some even got a block of wood to place under the head of the hammer for better leverage. None were successful. I took the entire block with nail and all and raised it over my head. I brought it down as hard as I could catching the head of the spike against the metal trim on the stage. The spike flew out. It dented the stage. It was not what he had planned, but he said, "Folks, you can always depend on our Ron to think outside the box." Laughter abounded. The momentum of the heavy block moving at such speed gave hundreds of foot pounds of energy to the head of the nail. Mere leverage with a claw hammer could never have achieved such a power ratio.

Adventures alone

I've been avoiding to write again.

Was telling my friend, that I liked doing things alone.  Like eating alone, shopping alone, errands alone.  Sometimes when I'm feeling blue I'll head on over to my favorite chicken rice shop and eat.....alone....or go to a mall alone to shop.  He encourage me to write about it.  

I need my time alone.  It doesn't scare me.  In fact I love it cause it is when I am alone when my internal voices are loud!  It gives me time to think of the things that are bugging me, the things that I am avoiding I face it during this alone time.  

A scary thought.  I do know quite a number of people that hate being alone...cause they don't want to answer those questions or thoughts at the back of their mind.  And if they are alone they fear to face what they have been avoiding.  Hence the reason why they always have to be around people or be doing something with someone......sorta like a headless chicken running around with the illusion 'i got my shit together'.

My alone time is my mental time to get my shit in order.  

Alone time can be liberating.  A few years back, I went to the Kanye West concert alone. Crazy stupid pathetic......whatever say I.  I went and actually found it liberating cause when i wanted to scream like a maniac I did, when i wanted to dance I did...yeah i saw friends there and chatted for a while....but i liked that i went alone.  It was fun....and i wanted to push myself - testing myself if i can let go of that sense of security to go with someone so i wouldn't look stupid.  

My next alone adventure......traveling alone on a vacation.  To a beach....that will truly be intense, fun and alot of 'internal talking' with a dash of picture taking.  My way of meditation and time to think, reflect and be free spirited.  

www.freedigitalphotos.net

Do you like being alone?  

What are your 'alone time' activities.....

MERDEKA! MERDEKA! MERDEKA!

I am far from political when it comes to my blog.  But todays entry...I am going to go there. I am going to be political but not in an ugly, angry way.

There has been a video, text messages and alot of ranting on twitter and FB status...about how shitty malaysia is, how there is so much injustices etc etc etc.  Those people protesting against the government will be wearing black on our 52nd year of independence.

Its sad.  

If I want a change, then it is up to me. 

Bitching takes alot of energy....and its much easier than assessing the situation and taking responsibility.  If I am not happy with my nation then it is up to me to create a nation which i want to like it.  I may be 1 person in this country.  But if i have the ability to bitch and enroll people to join me....then I can definitely shift that energy into something POSITIVE AND PURPOSEFULLY PRODUCTIVE.   Enroll people into doing something for the community.  Start small and let the positive actions grow.  

I believe wearing black is a cop out.  Don't like this...don't like that...hate this..hate that.  If you don't like it...then do something PRODUCTIVE.  

I am against police brutality when under police custody.

I am against abuse of power.

I am against cover ups.

I am against controlled media.  

I choose to not wear black and I don't want to teach my children to "wear black".  I believe there are other ways to be heard and taken seriously.   

My family and I have been affected by terroism (being held hostage), by war were we lost our home and sentimental belongings.....I have travelled the world where health care is to expensive, where the indigenous people are treated like crap, where cost of living is so high that living in the ghetto was normal and accepted, where inflation was sky high and carrying guns and shootings was not a big deal. Where the governments beyond belief.  Compared to Malaysia...Malaysia is a luxury.  Look at now...and move forward....not take 10 steps back.

Yeah there are quite a few things in this country which I don't agree with however .....its my attitude.  This merdeka....I can give malaysia a middle finger.  Malaysia isn't the government.  Malaysia is about the people, the attitude, the environment.  

Yeah a few bad apples can ruin the whole bunch.  In my eyes....I have a choice of my attitude about merdeka.     Cause there are plenty of good apples in the bunch. 

Like Ghandi said, Be the change you want to see. 

This merdeka i will not be wearing black, because I have faith in Malaysia and her people.  

MERDEKA!   MERDEKA!   MERDEKA! 

Negaraku, tanah tumpahnya darahku,

Rakyat hidup, bersatu dan maju,

Rahmat bahagia, Tuhan kurniakan,

My country, the land where my blood is shed,

The people live united and progressive,

Blessings of happiness, may God grant

Courage

I have a deck of Journey Cards.  And when I am totally overwhealmed or feeling stressed.  I shuffle the deck of cards, calm myself and focus.  I select 3 cards.  (There is no 'right' way to select the cards..i just close my eyes and go with my gut and pick 3)

Its funny how the universe talks to me.  There are always 3 or 4 cards that are always selected.  

But then out of the blur today I got a card which got me thinking. ...I share an excerpt from the courage card.  

Courage.  

The willingness to experience your own vulnerability and find the strength in it: that is true courage.  

When I gather my imaginary balls and work up the nerves to face whatever it is...its a great accomplishment when I don't fall flat on my face and actually do well.......then there are those moments where I do fall flat on my face and have the 'scars' to prove it.  

It is when shit hits the fan...i fall flat on my face and reach the lowest of low.....And somehow..day by day....I make my situation better and better.  

To be open is where I am the strongest and is when I have courage not knowing what I am being open to.  

Man in strong and has courage when he allows himself to be vulnerable to the world, man is a coward when he refuses to be open and maintains control.  

obsession consumes me

Some women its shoes, handbags.  For others its gadgets or big boys toys.  For me its sunglasses (specks), bags, really soft rubber flip flops and cameras.  

Cameras the most expensive obsession on my list.  I think I have too much of them.  I have my cameras- lomos- and other little camera-like devices.  At times they can be such a crutch.  

I see a grat photo opportunity - take out the dslr, take a few pictures, change lens, take out mini lomo take picture.....or take out hp take picture.  

It gets to a point where i have to tell myself...its not about capturing the experiences but just simply - be in the experience.  There are a few vacations where i was more concerned about capturing the moment I came back home with my soul feeling empty cause i gained nothing out of the holiday.

I think the nest holiday or any outing. I must commit to one camera - and make the best out of it.  And constantly remind myself - just experience.  And allocate a whole day of photo taking and enjoy the rest of the trip.  

6 cameras including lomos, 4 lenses, 2 flash and my mobile camera.  Its time to stop the crazy obsession.  Its getting too expensive.  Todays mantra - "I am not my cameras".  

Where everything is still....and I'm in the NOW

I came back from a weekend getaway to Pulau Redang. 

A beautiful island where the water is many different shades of turquoise & blue.  

Beaches have a profound effect on me.  It calms me instantly when I am in the water by myself.

And that is when I truly experience & practice mastery.  

Something about the beach gives me instant clarity of my life.  On the plus side...keeps me in check and focused....on the not so plus side - the clarity I see I do not always like. 

I am a water baby, a true Pisces.  I love the beach, the soft sand the waves the water the color and the smell.  My favorite moment.....during the hot afternoon while everyone else was having lunch I was in the calm sea and floating and all I can hear was the water.  

Now I am back in KL - polar opposite of Redang Island, and can get quite depressing.  

I need to create the beach in my mind.  

What is your beach?